In defence of English - Part 2

'Na so I jobless reach' was the first thought that came to my mind when my very good friend suggested I offer to do a free editing job for someone who has a blog where he regularly posts about relationships and life issues. If I had known I would have maintained my 'busy-ness'. But I read one of his posts and I couldn't agree more with my friend that, indeed, he needs an editor. So I swallowed my pride, overlooked how much money I would have made if I was charging for this service, and sent him a message offering FREE AND INSTANT EDITING SERVICE for all his posts! Remember the FREE and INSTANT! And what did I get in response? THANK YOU, BUT NO. Cool! Fine! I was already wondering how I could fix his frequent and usually long posts into my schedule that is already overflowing. It was quite a relief for me, and I was happy that at least my friend will not say I don't like to do anything free.

So far, all I have written is no news. The news is the reason he gave for refusing my offer. He bluntly told me he gets such offers from time to time and he has always refused all because his badly written English is what people know him for and he enjoys the attention he gets from it. Uhn! Was it funny! I kept chuckling to myself all through that day.

And still that is not the news. The news is I wonder if people who are known for one vice or another truly enjoy the attention they get from it. Take, for instance, a boy who repeatedly does poorly in his school work, and every time his mother or teacher encourages him to put more efforts in studying, he boldly tells them 'Please stop worrying yourself about me so that you can stop disturbing me. Everyone knows I am a failure and I am happy about it.'

Methink the right way to live is to always be ready to get right whatever one is doing wrong. I don't think ignorance or failure is a thing to be proud of. Why are there schools and other institutions of learning? Why are there institutes for professional studies? Why do we have the dictionary? Why do we have manual handbooks for our machines and electronics? All these are so that we do not make mistakes in vital areas of our lives. If errors are good and fitting, there wouldn't have been efforts to make sure they don't happen.

Already, it is not good enough that we don't speak or write our lingua franca well, but it is preposterous when we claim that speaking or writing incorrect English is what makes us popular or makes us a success and so will not take to any correction. And if we still believe that English is a borrowed language and so we can treat it as we like, maybe we should just begin to communicate and do business in the language or dialect we are proud to associate with and protect. Just like the government calls for protecting the Naira because it is part of our national identity, so is English language our national identity and should be treated worthily and respectfully.

Until we stopped being known as an English-speaking country/people, until we change our lingua franca to any, or even some, Nigerian local dialects, we should do all we can to treat English right.

In defence of English - Part 1

Over time and on social forums, I have been quite amazed at the way a good number of Nigerians are quick to mount a wall of defence around anyone rightly accused of murdering English in the use of the language. Agreed, every Nigerian can’t speak English as eloquently as Wole Soyinka or use jaw-breaking words like Rev Chris Okotie and Patrick Obahiagbon; but I think a graduate, especially, should be able to express himself in simple and grammatically correct English, at least. 

I’m not so much about pronunciation, given the multi-dialects pattern of our language in Nigeria; but in formal writings and gatherings, what excuse do we have for “throwing bullets” at our readers or listeners? It is very annoying to hear people give excuses why it is not compulsory they speak “good” English. More annoying are the reasons they give to back up their ridiculous claims.

They say: Why are Nigerians so obsessed about English. Is English our mother tongue? English is not our father’s language. 

I say: What is our lingua franca? Has it changed from English?

They say: Nobody is above mistakes. Anyone can mistakenly “throw bullets” when they talk.

I say: Very true. But some bullets are just so unpardonable. A university graduate was asked what he would do if as a member of an interview panel, he meets an employee of his company, who had called to say he was ill and could not come to work, among the job seekers. He wrote:

‘i‘llfeign ignorance of his presence @ dinterview ground, and went ahead with dinterview ntminding dimplications it’swould cause me, after all we all want 2 progress in life, who knwshow is been treated on his current job. And if he has a gudnsuperior presentation of augumentsand reasons base on dwelfare and job secureritypackages,hiscompetentence,anwe can no longer pay him, i’llfreed.’

If you were an interviewer, and a supposed graduate wrote this for you, won’t you think more than twice about considering such a person for employment?

They say: English will not put food on our tables. 

I say: One reason unemployment rate is still high is because we have graduates whose English is so bad that interviewers and prospective employees are not even willing to check out the applicants’ skills as related to the job. 

They say: English is just a language. Speaking flawless English is not an achievement. Nigeria is not developed because some of us spend time picking errors in English when we could spend the same time doing research like they do abroad. 

I say: If in English-speaking countries, researchers submit proposals written in terrible English or give presentations that will make the audience run for cover, I doubt they would be given the chance to “search” in the first place, not to talk of "re-search”. And the research proposals will end up in shredders the way a good number of application letters, proposals and manuscripts end here in Nigeria. 

They say: Can a Chinese graduate write English fluently?

I say: A “Chinese” graduate may not write English fluently if he was not taught in English and did not grow up in an English-speaking environment. But in a country where English is our language of trade, education and communication, it is expected that we are proficient in it. For instance, it will be a big shame if a Frenchman speaks or writes poor French.

They say: Is speaking a foreign language correctly a measure of someone’s intelligence or competence?

I say: Yes. Speaking a foreign language correctly (English, in this case) is a measure of intelligence and competence because we live in a country where English Language is our lingua franca. If English is not important, why is it our language of instruction and learning in schools? Why do we write our exams in English? Why do we have to speak English when we are interviewed for jobs? With the number of local dialects we have in Nigeria, it only makes it easy if we speak one common language, which has been English from generations.

They say: Messi speaks no English, yet he is rich, famous, and keeps winning the FIFA Ballon d'Or. 

I say: If English is his language of education, commerce, politics and entertainment, and he can’t speak it, shame on him.

What is the use of having a brilliant idea that you can’t effectively and correctly express? And instead of being quick to join the bandwagon of those who remain on one spot and comfort themselves in the belief that English is meant only for the Queen of England, get trained. Read books on grammar and usage. Read books on effective communication and writing. You have no excuse for subjecting people to the pain of dodging their heads because you throw daggers when you talk.

As long as English remains our specific language of communication in Nigeria, we have no reason not to get it right!